How to Manage a Difficult Employee

While team building and looking inward for self-improvement are core pillars of strong leadership – because the culture of a team is often a reflection of the leader – let's be real. There will be moments when you just can’t seem to get through to someone who’s performing or behaving poorly, and you need to try to make a more notable, lasting change.

This isn't about simple mistakes; this is about intervening to change a habit or a pattern by getting to the root cause of a problem. Maybe this person simply can’t master a technique, or perhaps they struggle to multitask and work through a busy service without substantial help, throwing a wrench into everyone’s groove. Or maybe it’s more serious: they have an attitude problem that makes their team walk on eggshells.

It’s important to mention that many of the most "difficult" people can become some of your best performers, insofar as they agree to work past their weak points that hurt them. Because we tend to fall back on what we truly know, not just what we say we know, everyone is reacting to pressure. People generally show their "warts" when stress increases. Sometimes, people aren’t even aware of their mistakes, habits, or unhelpful thought processes because they’re reacting to something negative – personally or professionally – subconsciously.

When to Act Immediately

Before diving into coaching, decide if the issue is an emergency. This means it's an HR-sensitive problem or a direct liability to your team or business. If it’s any sort of harassment, substance use, or threatening behavior, you need to act immediately with your HR team (if you have one) and your senior leadership to remove the person quickly. There are state-specific, but industry-standard methods for this. Always be by-the-book legal to ensure it does not open you up to any potential liability. Prioritize the safety and well-being of your entire team above all else.

Beyond Emergencies: Getting to the Root Cause

Once you've determined it's not an immediate HR termination situation, it's time to dig deeper. A kitchen is a high-pressure environment, and understanding why someone is struggling is crucial to helping them improve, because everyone will struggle from time to time, and need space and grace to learn from it.

1. Observe and Document (Objectively):

Before you even speak to the employee, take time to observe their behavior or performance issues.

• What specifically are they doing or not doing? (e.g., "Consistently forgets to label prep," "Snaps at junior cooks when expediting," "Repeatedly burns sauces.")

• When does it happen? (e.g., "Only during dinner rush," "After a long double," "When working with Chef X.")

• What are the consequences? (e.g., "Wastes product," "Lowers team morale," "Delays service.")

• Keep it factual. Avoid emotional language or assumptions. Documentation is critical for creating a clear picture and, if necessary, for future disciplinary actions.

  
  

2. Prepare for the Conversation

Forget the weak "feedback sandwich" (good, bad, good). It often dilutes the message and confuses the person. Instead, aim for direct, empathetic, and solution-oriented communication.

• Choose the right time and place: A private setting, away from the heat of service. Make sure you have enough time to talk without interruption.

• State the specific behavior/performance issue clearly and factually: Refer to your observations. "I've noticed that during dinner service, you've been having trouble getting your mise en place ready on time, which then impacts the flow for the rest of the line."

• Explain the impact: How does this specific behavior affect the team, the quality of food, or the business? "When your station isn't set, that slows down every dish coming from the other stations, because all the dishes need to be served together."

• Ask open-ended questions: This is where you uncover the "why." "Can you help me understand what's been happening?" or "Is there anything preventing you from getting your station ready on time?" Listen more than you speak. Be genuinely curious.

• Listen actively and without judgment: They might reveal personal struggles, a lack of understanding, or even issues with your systems or other team members. This is valuable information.

  
  

3. Collaborate on a Solution

Once you understand the root cause (or at least have a clearer picture), work with the employee to find a solution so they are supported and aren’t left to fix things alone.

• Offer support and resources: "Let me show you how to approach your prep list differently" or ask, "Do you need a refresher on a particular technique?" "Is there anything I can do to support you with this?"

• Set clear expectations and an action plan: What specific changes do you expect to see? How will you measure progress? "My expectation is that your station is fully set and checked 15 minutes before service. We'll check in daily on this for the next week."

• Set a timeline for improvement and follow-up: This creates accountability. "Let's touch base again next Tuesday to see how things are progressing."

  
  

4. Follow Through and Follow Up:

Consistency is paramount. If you don’t follow up, then it gives the impression that it wasn’t that important and you’ve wasted your time.

• Provide ongoing feedback: Acknowledge improvements immediately. If the issue persists, refer back to your previous conversation and the agreed-upon plan.

• Document everything: Every conversation, every action plan, every follow-up. This creates a clear record of your efforts to support the employee and, if necessary, supports further disciplinary action down the line.

• Be prepared for different outcomes:

  • Improvement: Give them a shout out and reinforce the positive changes.

  • No change/Resistance: If the employee shows no willingness to improve or continues to resist, you'll need to move to more formal disciplinary steps (e.g., verbal warnings, written warnings, performance improvement plans), always in consultation with HR/senior leadership.

  • They Quit: Sometimes, an employee will realize the job isn't for them, or they can't meet the demands. This, while difficult, can be a healthy outcome for both parties.

Self-Reflection and Resilience

Managing difficult employees is one of the toughest parts of leadership and separates good and mediocre leaders. It requires patience, empathy, and sometimes, tough love. You must be strong enough to tell the truth when it’s clear and needs to be said, for the benefit of the person who needs to hear it. If you don’t do the hard work of confronting the issue, then it grows, spreads across the team, and becomes the culture by default.

Remember to:

• Protect your team: While you're working with the individual, ensure their behavior isn't disproportionately impacting the rest of your staff.

• Know when to cut your losses: Despite your best efforts, some employees may not be a good fit for your team or culture. Sometimes, letting someone go is the kindest thing for everyone involved, including the employee themselves.

• Maintain your own well-being: These situations can be emotionally draining. Make sure you’re taking proper care of your mind, health and well-being, so that you can properly withstand the emotional aspects of the job.

  
  

By approaching difficult employee situations with a clear head, a structured plan, and a commitment to both support and accountability, you can transform challenges into opportunities for growth – for your team, for the individual, and for yourself as a leader.